Sometimes I hope the pendulum swings the other way before you’re old enough to understand some things . . . one in particular is the notion that everyone who participates in a sport, game, competition . . . whatever . . . everyone who participates gets a trophy. I never liked that practice!
NOT EVERYONE CAN BE A WINNER!!
For the love of Pete, please remember that! In real life . . . once
you’re out of high school and college . . . out there on your own . . .
trying to make your mark on life . . . not everyone wins. You may
actually fail a class in college if you aren’t prepared for it. You may
get fired from a job if you fail to perform.
Do not live with the illusion that life is always going to be fair!
The School of Hard Knocks that life can be is an unforgiving
university . . . the tests aren’t always easy . . . victory can
sometimes only comes from hard work . . . blood, sweat, and tears . .
. along with some serious determination!
I learned this lesson VERY early in life . . . I had a tough dad
growing up . . . one that taught me lessons I never even knew I needed
to learn!!
Yep, losing was part of my childhood . . . what made it worse was that it happened a LOT before I turned 5!
Like most kids, our first board games were Candy Land and Chutes and Ladders (also known as Snakes and Ladders)
. . . our first opponents were Mom and Dad. Mom played the game in a
way that typically allowed us to win . . . she was kind and nurturing . .
. wanted us to have some basis to believe in a world full of goodness .
. . a safe world. Dad, on the other hand, was a no-holds-barred player .
. . who sometimes cheated . . . and rarely allowed us to win! As you
can imagine, there were usually tears!
I suppose in today’s world this might be viewed as some type of
mental abuse . . . after all, we’re not supposed to let today’s kids
know that losing is a possibility. And God forbid you make some kid cry!
I know this all too well dealing with college kids who run straight
to mommy and daddy every time something doesn’t go their way! I get
calls from angry parents . . . mad because I won’t coddle their precious
babies. Most times I just roll my eyes as I’m talking to them because I
know where the anger comes from. Usually I can calm the parents . . .
using soft words and hard facts . . . telling them I have kids of my own
who are navigating life as well . . . letting them know I understand
how hard it is to let go.
But when I was a kid, my father’s behavior wasn’t unusual . . . most
dads I knew were teaching this valuable lesson to their kids as well.
I remember playing catch with my dad . . . he threw the ball really
hard . . . hurting my hand when it hit! I’d drop my glove like a hot
potato, hit my knees and fight back tears because I knew if I
complained, the next one would be thrown even harder. His explanation
was that the other kids weren’t going to throw the ball easy . . . I
needed to learn to catch it no matter what. And guess what! I rarely
dropped a ball in a game . . . on the rare occasion when I played in the
field . . . usually shortstop because that’s where most balls were hit .
. . I could even snag a line drive without much effort . . . and no
fear! Catcher was my favorite position, and I played every game . . .
because I was fearless there . . . most girls were terrified to catch!
My dad helped make me fearless!
You know what else he instilled in me? Drive and determination! And I learned that even defeat wasn’t deadly, but I’d damn sure better work harder the next time around . . . if I got a next time around.
I hope they don’t hand out trophies to everyone on the team . . . no matter what . . . when you’re growing up . . . if they do, I hope you realize the reality of it all . . . there will be a winning AND a losing team! They can tell you they’re not going to keep score . . . but every kid is counting the runs . . . or the goals . . . or the touchdowns . . . kids know who scored the most. Not everyone is a winner.
So what . . . you can’t PITCH a baseball . . . if you can catch one, learn to play left field! You’re not a really fast runner? Try out for keeper on the soccer team . . . they don’t have to run a lot, but they do have to be sharp and on their toes! Wait, you don’t know how to draw very well and you want to be an artist? Ever thrown clay on a wheel?
No matter what you do . . . sports, art, music, math . . . whatever . . . IF you love it, keep doing it until you try out and are cut from the team. But . . . if you’re cut from the team, accept it and move on . . . don’t go whining about it! At some point you will be rejected for one reason or another. You’ll think the world is coming to an end at the time, but when one door closes, you might find an open window somewhere else. You won’t notice that open window at first, but the breeze it lets in will eventually catch your attention.
And always remember . . . few people are naturals . . . sometimes you actually have to put some effort into something and practice!“Success is never final, and failure isn’t fatal. It’s the courage to continue that counts.” ~ Winston Churchill
What exactly does that mean? It means that even though you might win this year’s state soccer championship, you can’t forget to prepare for next year’s game. If you lose this year’s state championship, you won’t die because of it either . . . you’ll be around for next year’s game . . . buck up punk . . . practice . . . get better . . . then get your head back in the game!
And you know what John Wayne said about courage?
I’m not sure he REALLY said that . . . but the words are true . . . and it’s something he certainly might have said.
“Crawling is acceptable. Falling is acceptable. Puking is acceptable. Blood is acceptable. Sweat is acceptable. Crying is acceptable. Pain is acceptable. Failure is even acceptable. Quitting, however, is NOT an option. When you feel like quitting, think about why you started.” ~ Unknown
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