I CLEARLY remember my first attempt at using a curse word . . . can still feel my mother's wrath . . . taste the soap!
My father was a sailor, and that whole "cuss like a sailor" is a real thing . . . his language has been colorful to say the least. In addition to using every curse word under the sun, he's taken God's name in vain many times over the years. Jesus' name was used more often than not.
From the moment I learned to talk, there's no doubt that I repeated things he said, but my mom did her best to nip it in the bud by telling me "You can use your father as a bad example . . . do not use his words!" It worked for the most part.
I was about 7 . . . building something in my dad's shop out back . . . probably my "Ladybug Circus." See, I had this great plan to build a place for my collection of ladybugs to play . . . I loved bugs and lizards back then . . . not so much today . . . but back then I wanted to be a boy . . . do boy things! I'd strung string between two wooden dowel towers . . . for the high-wire act. I built a see-saw . . . for the . . . I have no idea why I built that! There was a circular pen for ladybug tamers. Oh, I had plans alright!
I was trying to hammer a nail into a piece of wood when it happened! The hammer missed the nail and caught my finger . . . hard!
The first words out of my mouth were both of Jesus' names!! My finger went straight into my mouth . . . because sucking on wounds somehow made them less painful?!?!?
I have no idea where my mom came from . . . I never heard her! But suddenly I was on my tiptoes . . . her hand pulling me up by the collar of my shirt. She ushered me directly into the house . . . straight to the bathroom! Before I could get another word out, a bar of soap hit my tongue!
She never said a thing . . . just left me there in the bathroom . . . stunned!
I didn't do that again . . .
When the girls were little my go-to curse word was Jiminy Crickets. They thought it was hysterical and wanted curse words of their own. I gave them optional words, but neither one really used any (at least not in front of me).
My mother used only one . . . shit . . . that was her go-to when things got out of control.
Oh, and that Ladybug Circus . . . yeah, it didn't work out very well . . . they kept flying away.
"Under certain circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even in prayer." ~ Mark Twain
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